While Dani was successfully tucked in bed and sleeping soundly next to me, I couldn't help but wonder. Times like these are the most peaceful and fulfilling part of my day. Seeing her eyes closed and breathing gently, its a gift.
Then my thoughts try to see how it would be in a few months time. Will these hours ever be the same? Will Dani be sleeping next to us like this? Or is it going to be an entirely different picture?
The return of night feedings, crying, sleepless nights... How will we be able to cope? I try to think how I could possibly balance two kids.
Dani has this funny way of getting herself to sleep. She drifts off by my side, then out of nowhere, half asleep, she climbs on top of me and stays there. She shifts from time to time, but she has her blanket and pillow in tow. I'm her portable mattress, to say the least. But I love these moments. We get to bond and its like she's a part of me again.
But as my tummy gets bigger, I will have to stop her midnight climbs. That hurts so much. My heart slumps at the thought.
It doesn't have to be her whole body, she also places her feet or arms on my tummy, too.
But I'm also excited to see how she will be with the new baby. She already acts like a big sister to Liam. Seeing her play with her doll, warms my heart. She is so gentle, loving and so empathic. She squirms when other children cry around her. Its like she doesn't like it that their not okay.
So these are my thoughts, lying in bed next to her. Tonight may be different. But my world is already on a different course.
No comments:
Post a Comment