Last Wednesday was another first in the road of motherhood. Lines were crossed and something had to be done. I refuse to be like other mothers who prefer to look away when their children misbehave and leave it just like that, explaining that they will eventually grow out of it.
Its sad to see parents losing control of their children at such a young age. When they grow a bit older, its either they are loathed or taken for granted. What kind of a relationship is that?
I am blessed to have had a wonderful father. My mother was mainly mostly out of the picture, but my father made up for any lost time and was our mother and father at the same time. He ruled with an iron hand but I never lacked love and affection as a child and until now. Surely, we definitely had our moments, but it was all for a good cause. Loving doesn't mean conceding or allowing. Its about standing ground and doing the right thing, though it may hurt a lot at first.
We were spanked as children. But my dad preferred to use the spank method differently between my brother and I. I was more of the worrier and my dad used the "make me guilty" tactic. The usually put me in line. My brother on the other hand, was a on a league on his own. But my dad dealt with us separately and never put us to shame.
Looking at my little girl now, its like I've finally reached my own circle. Now its our turn. Its absolutely true that we are all born with sin in our hearts. At almost 2 years, my little girl is as sharp as they get but getting a bit naughty for comfort.
I guess she is just like me. Spanking doesn't get her attention. So I have to be creative and try to understand her.
Now Dani is full of energy. When she is on a roll she will keep the ball rolling until the lights go out. So thats when the idea came to mind.
I asked everyone to leave the room, leaving just the two of us. I applied the "stay in the corner" approach. For a child 15 minutes feels like an eternity. She was screaming and kicked her yayas so I told her to apolologize. She refused and didn't even want to acknowledge any of us. Pride starts early, apparently.
So here I was sitting on the sofa near the corner where she was. At first she was stubborn. She acted like it was nothing and trying to get me to break. She was smiling sweetly and playing around. I didn't budge. She began rolling away from the corner so I stood and put her back and told her to stay in the corner. I also explained what she did and why she was being punished. A few minutes went by and she began sobbing. My heart was screaming at this point. Looking at her like her whole world was a mess. Boy, was she going to be going through worse things later on. She kind of has a flair for the dramatics, by the way. Did I mention she was only a year and 11 months old? Oh yes I did.
She had a way of projecting, too. I blame it on my genes. We do tend to be drama queens.
Finally after 15 minutes I asked her, in between her sobbing, if she was ready to apologize. At this point, what happened next really amazes me how kids learn so fast. I actually didn't think she would understand fully. But she looked at me somberly and with her very grown up tone she said, "yes." I asked her if she was sure. Again she replied yes.
I held her in my arms and told her I loved her and why I needed to teach her these lessons. Then I asked her to pray with me. That Jesus would help her be better and she needed to grow up into a woman of faith and substance. She prayed earnestly and said her "Amen" at the end.
When I opened the door with her yayas waiting outside, I told her to apologize. Stubborness came back in and she refused to look at them again. This time I scolded her and told her that she should not lie. So I brought her back to her corner. Her little feet barely touched the cold tile floor and she was saying "Mommy! Mommy! No!" So I asked her if she was willing to say sorry for certain this time. She said yes.
So I repeated the format with the yayas waiting outside. Her first attempt was more like a "Suuuhhh.." But I was firm. She looked at her yayas and said sorry.
Whew! Glad I got out of that moment in one piece. Talk about pressure and creativity on the spot.
Just the thought of having two of them soon seems so daunting and scary. But it has to be done. By God's guidance and grace, it can be done. Not by my own efforts or my husbands or anybody else.
Chalk that day up as experience and I know we will have more to come.
" Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. " - Prov. 22:6
" Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." - Prov. 22:15
" Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul." - prov. 29:17
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