Discipline 101

Last Wednesday was another first in the road of motherhood.  Lines were crossed and something had to be done.  I refuse to be like other mothers who prefer to look away when their children misbehave and leave it just like that, explaining that they will eventually grow out of it.

Its sad to see parents losing control of their children at such a young age.  When they grow a bit older, its either they are loathed or taken for granted.  What kind of a relationship is that?

I am blessed to have had a wonderful father.  My mother was mainly mostly out of the picture, but my father made up for any lost time and was our mother and father at the same time.  He ruled with an iron hand but I never lacked love and affection as a child and until now.  Surely, we definitely had our moments, but it was all for a good cause.  Loving doesn't mean conceding or allowing.  Its about standing ground and doing the right thing, though it may hurt a lot at first.

We were spanked as children.  But my dad preferred to use the spank method differently between my brother and I.  I was more of the worrier and my dad used the "make me guilty" tactic.  The usually put me in line.  My brother on the other hand, was a on a league on his own.  But my dad dealt with us separately and never put us to shame.

Looking at my little girl now, its like I've finally reached my own circle.  Now its our turn.  Its absolutely true that we are all born with sin in our hearts.  At almost 2 years, my little girl is as sharp as they get but getting a bit naughty for comfort.

I guess she is just like me.  Spanking doesn't get her attention.  So I have to be creative and try to understand her.  

Now Dani is full of energy.  When she is on a roll she will keep the ball rolling until the lights go out.  So thats when the idea came to mind.

I asked everyone to leave the room, leaving just the two of us.  I applied the "stay in the corner" approach.  For a child 15 minutes feels like an eternity.  She was screaming and kicked her yayas so I told her to apolologize.  She refused and didn't even want to acknowledge any of us.  Pride starts early, apparently.

So here I was sitting on the sofa near the corner where she was.  At first she was stubborn.  She acted like it was nothing and trying to get me to break.  She was smiling sweetly and playing around.  I didn't budge.  She began rolling away from the corner so I stood and put her back and told her to stay in the corner.  I also explained what she did and why she was being punished.  A few minutes went by and she began sobbing.  My heart was screaming at this point.  Looking at her like her whole world was a mess.  Boy, was she going to be going through worse things later on.  She kind of has a flair for the dramatics, by the way.  Did I mention she was only a year and 11 months old?  Oh yes I did.  

She had a way of projecting, too.  I blame it on my genes.  We do tend to be drama queens.

Finally after 15 minutes I asked her, in between her sobbing, if she was ready to apologize.  At this point, what happened next really amazes me how kids learn so fast.  I actually didn't think she would understand fully.  But she looked at me somberly and with her very grown up tone she said, "yes."  I asked her if she was sure.  Again she replied yes.

I held her in my arms and told her I loved her and why I needed to teach her these lessons.  Then I asked her to pray with me.  That Jesus would help her be better and she needed to grow up into a woman of faith and substance.  She prayed earnestly and said her "Amen" at the end.

When I opened the door with her yayas waiting outside, I told her to apologize.  Stubborness came back in and she refused to look at them again.  This time I scolded her and told her that she should not lie.  So I brought her back to her corner.  Her little feet barely touched the cold tile floor and she was saying "Mommy!  Mommy!  No!"  So I asked her if she was willing to say sorry for certain this time.  She said yes.

So I repeated the format with the yayas waiting outside.  Her first attempt was more like a "Suuuhhh.."  But I was firm.  She looked at her yayas and said sorry.

Whew!  Glad I got out of that moment in one piece.  Talk about pressure and creativity on the spot.

Just the thought of having two of them soon seems so daunting and scary.  But it has to be done.  By God's guidance and grace, it can be done.  Not by my own efforts or my husbands or anybody else.

Chalk that day up as experience and I know we will have more to come.

" Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. " - Prov. 22:6

" Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." - Prov. 22:15

" Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul." - prov. 29:17

 

             

Mother's Day

The reason I get to celebrate days like this. What could be better?

Who do you say I am?

Jesus asked His disciples once, “But who do you say that I am?” How you answer this question depends on how you see Jesus. And how you see Jesus will determine how and what you receive from Him. So see Him as your God, as everything He claims to be in His Word, and He will do mighty works in your life!

- Joseph Prince

thoughts in bed

While Dani was successfully tucked in bed and sleeping soundly next to me, I couldn't help but wonder.  Times like these are the most peaceful and fulfilling part of my day.  Seeing her eyes closed and breathing gently, its a gift.

Then my thoughts try to see how it would be in a few months time.  Will these hours ever be the same?  Will Dani be sleeping next to us like this?  Or is it going to be an entirely different picture?  

The return of night feedings, crying, sleepless nights...  How will we be able to cope?  I try to think how I could possibly balance two kids.

Dani has this funny way of getting herself to sleep.  She drifts off by my side, then out of nowhere, half asleep, she climbs on top of me and stays there.  She shifts from time to time, but she has her blanket and pillow in tow.  I'm her portable mattress, to say the least.  But I love these moments.  We get to bond and its like she's a part of me again.

But as my tummy gets bigger, I will have to stop her midnight climbs.  That hurts so much.  My heart slumps at the thought.

It doesn't have to be her whole body, she also places her feet or arms on my tummy, too.

But I'm also excited to see how she will be with the new baby.  She already acts like a big sister to Liam.  Seeing her play with her doll, warms my heart.  She is so gentle, loving and so empathic. She squirms when other children cry around her.  Its like she doesn't like it that their not okay.

So these are my thoughts, lying in bed next to her.  Tonight may be different.  But my world is already on a different course.  

 

Twice the adventure

May 3, 2013:

May 4, 2013:

It hasn't been an easy road the second time around.  But as always, God has the best timing.  Completely out of left field and against the odds.  He made it happen just like that.

At a time when I was wallowing in self-pity and boredom over my 10 day confinement, little did I realize there was a miracle taking shape inside.  How cool is that?

I was planning a trip to Singapore with highschool friends, Joy and Emeelou, this Thursday.  Bryan was planning a trip to Hong Kong in June for my birthday, too.  I guess this is definitely a sign to take it slow for the next few months.  

Though it was hoped for, but circumstances pointed to a miss for this month. Hah!  

I am just filled with awe and wonder at how God could plan this and bless us with another wonderful being.  I still stare at Dani in wonderment each time.  And I do hope I continue to do so all the days of our lives.  In my eyes, there is nothing more beautiful.  The embodiment of how my God is so amazing in a tiny little body.  Such a little soul has brought so much depth to this family already in such a short time.

I do hope for a boy this time around.  But then again, our future lies in His hands.  He knows what is to come and what we need.  So I am not going to question his choices on the matter.  All I pray for is the health of the new baby and myself.

Dani now has an ally in life.

 
"Do you hear what these children are saying?" they asked him. "Yes," replied Jesus, "have you never read, " 'From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise' ?" - Matt. 21 : 16

 I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.- 1 Sam. 1 :27

Upon studying for verses for this entry, I came upon these lessons from  http://www.biblestudytools.com/concordances/torreys-topical-textbook/parents.html :

PARENT'S DUTY TO THEIR CHILDREN IS:

• To love them Titus 2:4

• To bring them to Christ Matthew 19:13 Matthew 19:14

• To train them up for God Proverbs 22:6 ; Ephesians 6:4

• To instruct them in Gods word Deuteronomy 4:9 ; 11:19 ; Isaiah 38:19

• To tell them of Gods judgments Joel 1:3

• To tell them of the miraculous works of God Exodus 10:2 ; Psalms 78:4

• To command them to obey God Deuteronomy 32:46 ; 1 Chronicles 28:9

• To bless them Genesis 48:15 ; Hebrews 11:20

• To pity them Psalms 103:13

• To provide for them Job 42:15 ; 2 Corinthians 12:14 ; 1 Timothy 5:8

• To rule them 1 Timothy 3:4 1 Timothy 3:12

• To correct them Proverbs 13:24 ; 19:18 ; 23:13 ; 29:17 ; Hebrews 12:7

• Not to provoke them Ephesians 6:4 ; Colossians 3:21

• Not to make unholy connections for them Genesis 24:1-4 ; Genesis 28:1 Genesis 28:2

 

 

A new beginning?

Yesterday marked a new day of God's greatness. Today, in a few hours, we will try to get it on paper to help us make it even more real.

My God is God. Though I am so unworthy, He gives me new joys and a hopeful future.

Our future is brighter and stronger with Him at the lead. My heart is filled with happiness. Dani will have a partner in life.

May my Lord, my God be honored in our lives always! He deserves all our praises and exhaltation!