I guess its time I accept the inevitable. I do have a diabetes problem. Honestly, I shed a tear or two last night. But it didn't last for too long. I guess I just wanted it out after talking to my brother.
What can we do but deal with it? Its in our genes, unfortunately. Mostly on my side. But millions of people go through this every day.
The lesson I did learn yesterday came to me during my quiet time. As I was praying, it just dawned on me... I knew it but it never really hit my reality as much as it did that very second. From now on, baby girl, everything I do, say and eat will affect you. I obviously am having you later than others. So therefore, I had more time to just deal with just myself. Believe me, that was a challenge enough for me.
But this is where it really came to me so honestly and firmly. I have to make a change for you. I can't let myself go unlike before. This isn't your fault and this is my consequence.
So for the next few months until you come, I have to be on my best behavior and remember that you come first now. That is reason in itself alone.
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