first time we played

I was all alone last night with your father all busy with the IKC judges here for the show this weekend.

I notice how you move so much especially during the evening. Right when I'm watching some tv with my feet raised.

You were moving a bit furiously last night, to my delight. I started pressing where I last felt you and to my surprise, I felt something small pushing back! It was too small to be an head or any other part of your body. So I did it again, and you pushed back for the second time!

You never cease to amaze me, sweetheart. Just what I needed at that very moment,too. It was like you were assuring me that everything will be all right.

A bit on the sweet side

I guess its time I accept the inevitable. I do have a diabetes problem. Honestly, I shed a tear or two last night. But it didn't last for too long. I guess I just wanted it out after talking to my brother.

What can we do but deal with it? Its in our genes, unfortunately. Mostly on my side. But millions of people go through this every day.

The lesson I did learn yesterday came to me during my quiet time. As I was praying, it just dawned on me... I knew it but it never really hit my reality as much as it did that very second. From now on, baby girl, everything I do, say and eat will affect you. I obviously am having you later than others. So therefore, I had more time to just deal with just myself. Believe me, that was a challenge enough for me.

But this is where it really came to me so honestly and firmly. I have to make a change for you. I can't let myself go unlike before. This isn't your fault and this is my consequence.

So for the next few months until you come, I have to be on my best behavior and remember that you come first now. That is reason in itself alone.

First Confession...

Mommy has a little confession to make. I haven't exactly been the best behaved mommy there was. As of yesterday I had my blood checked. A GCT test. Turned out my blood sugar is way over the top! Which really surprised me because I am not a big sugar hog to begin with. True I do appreciate a dessert or two these days but I've never been one to truly endulge.

So I told Dra. Abelita and she instructed me to take a OGTT test today. I didn't realize until later on that it involves taking my blood 4x! I am not the needles friend. AT ALL!

Sad to say my tests are not good. I am scheduled to go to Dr. Passaporte (an endocrinologist) tomorrow morning. In the afternoon I go back to Dra. Abelita.

I have studied on what could possibly be my case and at the this point, no matter how hard it will be, I have your health to think about now and not just my own.

Praying for the good Lord to continue being with me. This is His plan. I still consider myself very blessed compared to what other mothers have gone through. So I have no place to complain. I just pray for the courage and the patience.

Life will always be full of surprises at any curb.

Daddy's in charge

Guess who is all so excited to see you, too! You're dad talked with the carpenter today about your dressers (which he proudly boasts he designed himself). We also purchased your crib today and brought it home with us. Exciting to see things come into its place a bit at a time. With the way your dad thinks and works, its going be very well thought of. Hope you like it when you come home soon!

Simple moments, memories for a lifetime

This is probably the memory that will always come first in my mind when I think of your Lolo. This is how he has always been since I was a little girl. Lola loves to read and write so this is where I could easily find him and where he naturally spends most of his time.

But one thing I do appreciate, that I will always try to be with you, he always stopped and listened whenever I needed him. He would drop his book and shut his computer whenever I would ask him if we could talk.

There are times when I would have a bad dream or would have a problem. I would knock on his door even at 4am and he would patiently be there, listening. Although you could see how sleepy he still is. He would always be there. When I was younger, I would sleep next to him and that would bring me so much comfort to have him there. The next day I find out he moved to the sofa because I was crowding the bed. But he never complained or woke me.

In my later years, the last being about 2 years ago, I think, I still knocked and he would open and listen and talked.

These are the simple yet foundational moments of my life that I wanted to capture somehow. Sharing it with you with the hope and prayer that I can be the same to you as well.